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you’re too good for me

Day Four: Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot.

1. what the fuck am i going to do with my life?

2. the validity of the western school system in the context of my life.

3. moving out. i realllllly need to move out.

4. missing people. especially at scu. if i were still in school we would be so close. i feel like i’m missing so much.

5. i’m really lucky that you chose me. i still don’t get why. maybe i finally let my guard down.

6. i need to wake up earlier. which would be the direct result of not staying up until 3am. furmp.

7. countless amounts of other thoughts that serve no purpose but to fill up space and cause annoyance. like that song.. “i put my hands up in the air sometimes saying ay-ohh”. -__-

Day Three: Eight Ways to Win My Heart

1. be real with me. whoever you usually are around other people, set that person aside and be who you really are. i want to know the real you. don’t hold back because you think i can’t handle it.

2. you must know good music or be willing to learn. if you only listen to a few bands in one genre and are content in your blissful ignorance, i’m afraid that we cannot be friends. oh and you should budget some of your paycheck to seeing shows with me. i’ll really like you if you recommend music to me as well. i’m always looking for new music or something i’ve never heard before.

3. have an open mind. try new things, even if they’re against your better judgement. life is about experiences. just do it.

4. be a total dweeb. i’m sorry but there’s a huge part of my heart allocated for nerds, dweebs, dorks, geeks and freaks. when other people give you weird looks i’ll be there to stare right back in their faces because i know we’re cooler than they will ever be.

5. don’t be afraid to be inappropriate.

6. take me places.

7. spontaneous singing and dancing, funny noises, laughs and smiles.

8. communicate with me. i don’t like secrets. i like to know how you’re feeling. if something is bothering you, i want to know. i won’t keep things from you. i’m getting rid of my secret twitter. i decided it is a bad idea.

Day Two: Nine Things About Yourself

1. i change my hair when big things happen in my life. i’ve been doing that since i was 13.

2. i am right handed and left footed.

3. i have a variety of different laughs. this is due to the fact that i subconsciously imitate the laughs of those around me and they get stored in me as laughs that i pull from whenever necessary. when i’m really laughing though, you can tell. it ain’t subtle.

“4. i wish i was a wizard and could attend hogwarts, foreal. i love magic SO much and HP makes me SUPER happy.” – jasmine. yep. i cried on my 11th birthday when i didn’t recieve a letter from hogwarts. someone must have made a mistake. there’s probably nothing i geek out over as much as harry potter.

5. i collect vintage tins and film cameras.

6. when people ask me what ethnicity i am i always say i’m half irish, half hispanic. i’m actually almost 1/2 irish, 1/4 spanish(and or mexican depending), and the rest of me is dutch, scottish, and welsh(where i got my last name).

7. i’ve never been a girlfriend before. i hope i don’t fuck it up.

8. sometimes i need to disappear and not talk to anybody. i never understand why people don’t get that. just another weird facet of my personality.

9. i like to break rules and challenge social norms. i’m not afraid to walk up to a random person and start up a conversation. oh, and i like jump off things. <(^_^)>

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

got this idea from jazz.

1. i am really looking forward to you being gone for a month. i just really wish that you would realize that you can’t fix what has been broken since i was 15. I can’t believe that you think we can just go to a therapist and spill our feelings out and i will be your little girl again. on top of that, you think we can go one time before you’re gone and if anything happens to you at least we’d be on good terms. you should know better. i don’t want to be your daughter. maybe you should have tried to “patch” things before you decided it was convenient for you.

2. i’m sorry i never call you. me being a bad communicator is no excuse for letting our friendship go by the wayside. i just found out that you’re in a relationship on facebook. how lame. esp since this one is a big deal. you used to come to me with everything. i’m happy that you’re stronger now. you are a beautiful person.

3. jesus christ i miss you. you’re my best friend and you’re the only one that gets how fucking weird i am. i miss being a total dweebersaurs with you and playing in our rock band band hahaha. i’m really going to try and come up to visit you because after this year you’re moving really far away and i’m afraid that i’m never going to talk to you anymore. don’t forget about me please.

4. hey, everything between us was really unfair. i know that’s on both of us but it’s my fault that i started ignoring you. that was my inner shit. i don’t think anyone else has ever seen that insensitive side of me and i apologize for bringing your wall down to only make you raise it up higher.

5. i’m going to miss you, boo. i hope you have fun abroad and are safe and don’t let anyone break your heart over there. be smart. try new things. go places that you’d normally stray away from. i’ll miss you. wanakaboomba haha <3

6. thank you. thank you for being patient and understanding. thank you for being yourself around me. thank you for listening and not judging me. i never expected someone like you. i almost feel like you’re too good for me. maybe i just always thought that i’d either be alone forever or have to settle for someone. this is different. idk it just feels right right now. i feel really lucky. i want to see where this goes.

7. gah! i wish we hung out more. we used to hang out everyday. i hope you know that you’re my sister (well not biologically but that matters not) and i love you. i’m so happy that you’re in a good place right now. i haven’t seen you in this mood for such a long period of time and i know exactly why that is. he is lucky. you are positively brilliant together. i just wish that we made time to hang out more. i know we’re really different, but somehow it still works.

8. i’m sorry i don’t know how to talk to you. maybe in some alternate reality where we weren’t of the same bloodline we could be friends or at least polite acquaintances. i don’t know. maybe it’ll always be super awkward to talk to you. i hope you’re happy. i can never tell.

9. i don’t know where i would be without you. you are my rock. all of the love that i possess belongs to you. there are so many times when you brought me out of the dark when i didn’t want to talk to anyone and i was lost. you are the most important person in my life. you are so good to everyone else and i really wish that you were happy. i don’t understand why the right guy hasn’t come around yet. i don’t want to see you hurt by another self-centered artsy asshole. you deserve the best person ever because you are the best person ever. yeah everyone has their quirks and their faults but any of yours are completely overpowered by how amazing you are. if only everyone else knew that. thank you for everything you have ever said or done for me. i love you more than anything or anyone in this world.

10. you are so much more than your looks and your humor. people should love you for all that you are. don’t cheapen yourself. because of your upbringing you were never allowed to reach your full potential but now that you are free i hope that you are getting stronger. i feel like you are. i miss you cuz but i’m really happy that you are far away from that environment. you are amazing and beautiful. you can do anything you want. just believe in whatever it is you believe in, you dirty hippie haha.

infomania

people die all of the time. it’s just something you have to adjust to.

http://www.natehenn.com/